Smoke River Bride Read online

  Thad felt himself tumble into a bottomless chasm of sensation. His eyes burned; his tongue where it touched her mouth tasted honey-sweet. His mind floated up above himself somewhere. And dammit, his groin ached.

  Hell’s bells. Kissing Leah took him soaring to places he had never been. Unexpected places. Unforgettable places.

  He lifted his head, felt her soft breath against his lips and smiled into the darkness. Aye, she was bonnie, all right.

  “Thad,” she whispered. “Don’t stop.”

  “Got to stop,” He murmured. “I’m getting short of breath.”

  And short of caution. He knew it was too soon, that he would regret it in the morning, and he didn’t want any regrets after their first time. He wanted it to be full of joy.

  He would wait. He had to wait. Leah deserved a whole man, not one so torn up inside that his heart was split in two.

  “Thad?” She touched his face with her fingers, moved them slowly over his mustache until they rested on his lips.

  “Hmmm?”

  “Why did you stop kissing me? Did you not like it? Or perhaps I did not do it right?”

  He groaned deep in his throat. “Hell, yes, you’re doing it right, Leah. More than right. The problem is me.”

  He should roll away, leave her alone.

  “You do not want me,” she said quietly.

  “Leah…” Heavens above, how could he explain something he didn’t understand himself? He wanted her, all right. Any man with half an eye and a beating heart would want this beautiful, unusual slip of a woman. The truth was he wasn’t sure it was the right time.

  He couldn’t let himself take her just because he was a man and she was willing. It had to be more than just physical wanting. It had to be because he was fully committed to her, and, heaven help him, he couldn’t do that yet.

  “I think I understand,” she said softly. “It is too soon after your first wife.”

  Thad let his breath out with a shaky sigh. “Only part of it is because of Hattie. The rest is because of you.”

  “Oh?”

  She said nothing else and he smoothed his hand over her hair. “I don’t know how to say this, Leah. I don’t want to be unfair to you. I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you.”

  She said nothing. He swallowed hard and went on. “And there’s something else. I don’t think I could stand getting my heart broken again. I can’t risk it yet.”

  She was silent so long he wondered if she’d fallen asleep, until he heard her quiet, calm voice near his ear.

  “You are a good man, Mr. MacAllister. A very special man. I like you very much.”

  Morning caught Thad by surprise. He’d slept past sunup, and while a part of him wanted to roust himself out of bed to check his wheat field and feed the stock, another part wanted nothing more than to lie here with Leah beside him.

  He’d gone way too far last night. Too far and too fast. But she must have liked it, or she wouldn’t be smiling at him that way, kind of shy and happy, with her cheeks all pink.

  In the next moment she sat up, pulled on her work jeans and a shirt and disappeared out the bedroom door. Thad closed his eyes and thought about last night. Before he knew it, he’d drifted off again.

  A thump from the kitchen brought him wide-awake. Hell, he’d never slept this late. What the devil was wrong with him?

  He rolled out of bed, pulled on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt, and followed his nose into the kitchen. Damn, something smelled good.

  He had to laugh at himself. Everything smelled good this morning.

  “Morning.” Dammit, his voice was unsteady.

  “Good morning.” Her voice was soft, almost hesitant.

  “Leah—”

  She placed one finger across his lips. “I have your breakfast ready,” she said quickly. “You will be surprised.”

  Surprised? She hadn’t stopped surprising him since he’d first laid eyes on her.

  At the kitchen table he found a mountain of fluffy scrambled eggs on his plate, along with crisp bacon and some kind of crunchy toast Leah had dreamed up using day-old biscuit halves crisped in the oven.

  Teddy banged down the loft steps. “Mornin’, Pa.”

  “Isn’t it a school day? You’re going to be late.”

  “Today’s Saturday, Pa.”

  “Ah, is it, now? Well, then.” He shot a glance at Leah. “How would you like to help me with an important project I’ve been putting off?”

  Teddy gaped at his father. “You really mean it? What kinda project?”

  Thad glanced again at Leah, bent over the oven where her biscuit toast was warming. “Today we’re going to teach Leah to ride a horse.”

  She jerked upright and the baking sheet clattered onto the floor. “What?”

  “It’s time, Leah. Can’t have you stuck out here with no way of getting to town without Ellie Johnson stopping by with her buggy.”

  Leah stared at him in disbelief. “Ride a horse?” she said in a thin voice.

  Teddy eyed her over his glass of milk. “You ain’t scared, are ya?”

  She whirled away and snatched the baking sheet up off the floor. “Y-yes, I am scared. In China we did not have a horse.”

  “We’ll help ya, won’t we, Pa?”

  Thad reached over and ruffled Teddy’s uncombed hair. Leah’s heart skipped at the sight, then dropped like a stone into her stomach at the thought of climbing up onto a horse.

  “I—I will try.” But a horse was so…big. Tall as a hay wagon, and those huge yellow teeth could bite, and it could kick hard enough to break her leg. Oh, heavens. She wondered how she would survive today.

  The horse looked even bigger up close. Thad had saddled the animal in the barn, and now led it out into the upper pasture, where Leah waited. Her breath choked off.

  Teddy jigged up and down with excitement. She suspected part of the boy’s excitement was the anticipation of seeing her fail. Taking another step backward, she sighed. Perhaps Thad’s son would never accept her; it was too much to hope he would come to like her.

  It was a beautiful animal, a glossy dark brown, with slim legs and a steady gait. But it was still a horse. A big, muscular horse.

  Thad walked the mare over to a thick pine stump. “Her name’s Lady. She’s real gentle, Leah. You’re gonna like riding her.”

  Oh, no, she would not. She gazed up at the big black eye the animal fixed on her and shuddered.

  “C’mon, Leah.” Teddy was off to the stump like a shot. She followed slowly, her palms damp.

  Thad positioned her in front of the mare. “Most important thing is for you to let the horse get to know you.” He placed her hand on the animal’s nose. The skin rippled under her fingers, and she jerked away.

  “Let her smell you all over.”

  Smell her! Leah stood rigid with fear while the horse snuffled at the neck of her shirt.

  “Ya must smell good,” Teddy chirped. “She likes you!”

  “Now,” Thad instructed. “You watch me take off her bit and bridle, see how it’s done, and then I want you to put them back on.”

  She watched his hands, committing his every move to memory. Then he thrust the jumble of paraphernalia at her and stepped aside.

  “Your turn.”

  Her hands shaking, Leah repeated his motions in reverse order and finished by looping the reins around the saddle horn.

  Thad sent her an encouraging grin. “Good. Now, the saddle.”

  She stared at the bulky leather contraption on the mare’s back. To her horror, Thad loosened the wide, beltlike thing under the animal’s belly and hefted the saddle, stirrups and all, off the horse. He plopped it onto the tree stump, where Teddy perched.

  “Now you do it,” Thad instructed. Leah stopped breathing. She could never lift that heavy thing. Never. Despite the pleasure his kiss had brought last night, at this moment she hated Thad MacAllister.

  He removed the saddle blanket, shook it out and handed it to her. “Put this on first
. Then set the saddle on top.”

  “But I cannot possibly lift it! It must weigh forty pounds.”

  “This is a lady’s saddle,” he said in a patient tone. “It only weighs about thirty-five pounds.”

  She lifted her chin. “I weigh just one hundred pounds, Thad. I cannot—”

  “Sure you can. One thing I’ve learned about you, Leah, is that you’re stronger than you look. C’mon, give it a try.”

  One thing he had not learned about her was that she was really, really afraid of this huge horse. She did not want to do this.

  But she had to acknowledge that now she was a woman living on a ranch, not a village in China. An American woman would do this every day of her life.

  Clenching her teeth, Leah approached the stump, gripped the saddle, front and back, and pulled it toward her. She could do that much. But could she hoist the heavy thing up onto the horse’s back? Never in a thousand years.

  Oh, goodness gracious. She did want to please Thad. Even if she didn’t think she could, she knew he would make her try.

  And there was another matter, as well. She wanted to prove something to herself. She wasn’t sure exactly what, but the knowledge straightened her spine.

  She refolded the saddle blanket and spread it on Lady’s back, then studied the waiting saddle with dwindling courage.

  “Whatcha waitin’ for, Leah?” Teddy yelled. “Ain’t chicken, are ya?”

  “I am thinking,” She replied. She decided what she had to do, and prayed she had figured out a way to do it. She rolled up the sleeves of her plaid flannel shirt, stepped forward and gripped the leather contraption.

  She tensed her muscles, sucked in a gulp of air and heaved the saddle up off the stump. Turning her body, she began to whirl in a circle, clutching the heavy object and picking up speed as she rotated. With a final burst of energy she aimed the saddle at the horse’s back and let go.

  To her amazement, the heavy leather thing sailed up and settled onto the folded saddle blanket. She could scarcely believe it. If Teddy and Thad were not shouting and applauding, she would think it was a dream.

  Triumphant but out of breath, Leah faced her cheering section. “I did it!”

  “You did,” Thad confirmed. “Very clever.”

  But her pride in her accomplishment didn’t ease her trembling muscles. “Could I please learn the rest tomorrow?”

  “Coward!” Teddy chortled.

  Thad just snorted and shook his head. “Adjust the stirrups and tighten the cinch.”

  She did as he directed, wondering at every motion where she got the strength.

  “Now,” he directed, “climb up on the stump, then maneuver the horse close and stick your left toe in the stirrup.”

  She sent him a desperate look, but he was leaning over, talking to Teddy, and did not see. Suddenly she regretted suggesting that Thad and Teddy undertake a task together. Now it was not Teddy who felt left out, but she herself. Something began to simmer deep inside her.

  She clamped her teeth together and clambered onto the stump.

  “Grab the saddle horn and swing your right leg over the horse’s rump,” Thad instructed.

  Over the horse’s rump? Impossible. She wished with all her heart that Thad MacAllister would shut his mouth!

  But she knew she must learn to ride sooner or later. She stepped into the stirrup and willed her body upward, over the horse’s hind quarters.

  Before she knew what was happening, she flew completely over the saddle and smacked down onto the ground on the animal’s other side. “Ow! Ow, ow!” She sat up and spit the dust out of her mouth.

  She could hear Teddy’s laughter and she shut her eyes against tears of embarrassment and pain. Then Thad was bending over her.

  “You all right?” His voice sounded pinched.

  “N-no.”

  Instantly he knelt beside her and laid his hand on her shoulder. “Are you hurt? Teddy, shut up!”

  Leah could not speak. All she wanted to do was hit this man over the head with something and then throw herself into his arms and sob.

  “Come on, lass.” He helped her up. Keeping his arm around her shoulders, he walked her around the mare and back to the stump.

  Oh, no. He wanted her to try again? Every muscle below her waist rebelled.

  But all her life she had hated giving up. For one thing, she hated hearing Teddy laugh at her. They had laughed at her in her village in China, too. And for another, Thad was right. She did need to know how to ride. In fact, she and Ellie had planned to meet at the dressmaker’s on Monday. She could not ask Thad to come in from his fields every time she needed to get to town.

  She hauled her aching body to the stump and climbed up onto the flat surface once more. Her legs were shaky, but she had learned something. She did not have to take a flying leap into the saddle; she merely had to plant her rear end on the hard leather seat.

  Again she stepped into the stirrup, gripped the saddle horn with her left hand and heaved herself upward. Her stiff body settled neatly in the saddle.

  The mare stood quietly for a moment and then bolted.

  The reins! Leah had forgotten to grab the reins! In a desperate attempt to stay seated, she bent forward, plunged her fingers into Lady’s coarse mane and hung on.

  The animal circled and whinnied and finally bumped to a stop, so abruptly Leah tumbled sideways off the mare’s back. She hit the ground on one hip, but this time landed harder, driving her teeth into her lower lip.

  Blood filled her mouth. She spat out the viscous stuff and spat again until her saliva was clear.

  This time, Teddy did not laugh. Thad had stood close to his son, gripping his shoulder, but when Lady bolted, he’d let go and sworn. When Leah hit the ground, he sprinted toward her.

  She sat with her legs bent, her face pressed against her knees.

  “Leah, are you hurt?” She shook her head but didn’t lift it.

  “Leah?” Thad dropped beside her and folded her slim form into his arms.

  “Don’t try to talk,” he murmured. “Just breathe slow and easy. When you think you can walk, I’ll help you into the house.”

  She shook her head.

  “You don’t want me to help you?” Another negative shake.

  “You don’t think you can walk? I can carry—”

  “No.” She let out a whimpery cry. Thad rolled his eyes at the blue sky overhead. Women were puzzling creatures. She was hurt, but he didn’t know how badly or where. Didn’t know whether she could walk, or if she even wanted his help. He rested on his haunches with her trembling body in his arms and felt like a complete fool.

  She disengaged herself, wobbled to her feet on her own and started forward. The look on her sweaty, dusty face was so determined it sent a shimmer of alarm into his gut.

  “Leah, what are you doing?”

  “Trying again,” she muttered through blood-smeared lips.

  Thad blinked. “Oh, no, you’re not. You’ve had enough for one day.”

  She didn’t answer. Instead, she stalked deliberately back toward the mounting stump.

  Thad stepped in front of her, blocking her path. “No,” he said.

  “Yes,” she hissed. She marched around him. “Bring the horse.”

  Teddy clung to Thad’s leg. “She’s awful stubborn, ain’t she, Pa? Don’t let her do it.”

  Hell, yes, she was stubborn. And brave. Against his better judgment, he strode off to lead Lady back into position, and then watched the slim, dirt-smeared figure in blue jeans and a shirt and a pair of Teddy’s old boots scramble again onto the stump. She turned to look at him with fire in her eyes.

  Lord, she was beautiful.

  Teddy clung to his thigh. “I’m not gonna watch.”

  Thad ignored him and the boy’s hands fell to his sides.

  This time Leah wound the reins twice about her left wrist, then propelled herself up onto the mare. Thad let out an unsteady breath. At least by now she should know how to control the animal.
>
  Or did she? She sat motionless in the saddle, as if unsure what to do next.

  “Lift the reins,” he called. His voice was hoarse.

  She raised her hands, and after a hesitation, the mare moved a step forward.

  “Kick her!” Teddy yelled.

  “No!” Thad thundered. “Just touch your heels to—”

  Too late. the horse stepped daintily forward, slowly at first, then broke into a canter. Lord in heaven, the mare would run away with her!

  Teddy grabbed Thad’s belt and jerked it. “Pa?”

  “Leah! Pull back on the reins. Pull back!”

  But she did not. Instead, with a defiant little shake of her head, she rode the mare to the pasture fence, managed to turn the animal in a big, sloppy circle, and then headed back toward them at a fast trot.

  Thad swallowed over a lump the size of a pinecone. She had to be completely unnerved. Either that or she’d gone completely loco. Maybe it was the Chinese in her. Whatever it was, it scared him to death.

  But, he admitted, he sure admired it.

  She pulled back on the reins, slowed the horse to a jerky walk and then brought it back to the stump.

  Popeyed, Teddy turned his face up to Thad’s. “Man, oh, man, Leah is somethin’, huh, Pa?”

  Thad’s throat was so full he could not answer. Lady halted at the mounting stump and Leah started to dismount. With one foot in the stirrup, she searched blindly with the other for the top of the block.

  Thad shot forward and caught her about the waist. “Leah,” he murmured. “You can let go of the reins now.”

  Finger by finger, she released her grip on the leather lines, and he lifted her off the horse. “Kick your boots free of the stirrup,” he instructed. When she managed it, he set her on her feet.

  “Pa?” Teddy danced at his side. “Kin I have a horse?”

  Thad caught his wife’s gaze and a look passed between them. He shook his head. Leah, however, gave him a shaky smile and nodded.

  Maybe she was right—his son needed his own horse. A pony. But right now it was the last thing he wanted to think about.